misery loves company

but get the fuck away from me.

i'm feeling so blue today. i know it's likely just a combination of returning from P-town, lack of sleep, PMS and a very heavy workload. but it feels closer to depression. oh screw it it really feels closer to despair. seriously, i am on tenterhooks here, clinging to the last of my supposed good nature. i had to play alex trebek for a work thing today and i felt like i was going to snap. i just couldn't handle everybody. i couldn't handle anything I don't think. it was awful. and i really felt like some people appreciated seeing me knocked down a few pegs. normally i don't think this way, but, like i said, i'm feeling overwhelmed and exhausted and ready to bite. i thought hammering this out would make me realize how silly i'm being but no, now i feel like sobbing for two hours and snuggling under the covers for the next few days. i'm going to go to the gym after my physical therapy appointment and see if working out might help take the edge off here. but i'm thinking it's gonna not help so much. maybe tonight i won't do any work, i'll just try to be a normal human, i'll come home from the gym and then eat some dinner, take a bath and go to bed before 10. maybe that will help. maybe then i'll wake up in the morning and not be sad, or apologizing to jason about being such a bitch. maybe my neck won't hurt so much. maybe i'll stop fucking whining in this blog.

goddamn PMS.