Blrg. argh. blechy. ick. blllllk.
Okay, now that I have *THAT* out of my system.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
wimp.
okay, so i was just exhausted and on my eighth and final wind yesterday. screw the whine. back on track.
"The greatest thing you have is the 24 hours in front of you. the past is gone. the future is distant. today you can succeed."
"Set a goal you can achieve in the next 24 hours."
here are my goals for today:
1) finish the brochure. **MUST DO or will get fired. or at least be disappointing. as is 5:15 now, possibly in trouble.
2) clean bathroom. having first official visitor from family (someone who has not worked on the house, and therefore does not really understand how far we have come) tomorrow, and want house, especially bathroom, to be in top-notch showplace condition. (as much as it can be without sealant or final paint).
3) clean house. see #2. is less important than bathroom. i am weird.
4) go to gym. need to consider this essential. am having problem with that.
5) eat nice respectable food. for at least remainder of conscious hours today. three peeps do not a good dessert make. well, good, but not healthy, certainly. tonight will have salad and sushi to make amends for weird lunch of aforementioned peeps, salami with cream cheese, small ceasar salad and ham and cheese sandwich. my god, i eat a LOT sometimes. add that to a bag of fruit snacks (doubt any fruit contained therein), a diet coke, a vitamin water, two cups of coffee, two eggs, toast and spray butter, and you've got the recipe for my inordinately large ass. yikes.
6) laundry! how am i supposed to fill lovely basket for hand towels in bathroom with dirty handtowels? wish dryer worked and did not have to dry towels four times. better get shakin.
7) julie's postcard. poor thing. i have neglected my be-fri's summer mailing. i am worst kind of friend.
8) sleep. must do that. without aid of trazadone or vicodin.
you see how the gym committment seems to be the least important thing on this very large list for 6 more hours in the day. dear.
"The greatest thing you have is the 24 hours in front of you. the past is gone. the future is distant. today you can succeed."
"Set a goal you can achieve in the next 24 hours."
here are my goals for today:
1) finish the brochure. **MUST DO or will get fired. or at least be disappointing. as is 5:15 now, possibly in trouble.
2) clean bathroom. having first official visitor from family (someone who has not worked on the house, and therefore does not really understand how far we have come) tomorrow, and want house, especially bathroom, to be in top-notch showplace condition. (as much as it can be without sealant or final paint).
3) clean house. see #2. is less important than bathroom. i am weird.
4) go to gym. need to consider this essential. am having problem with that.
5) eat nice respectable food. for at least remainder of conscious hours today. three peeps do not a good dessert make. well, good, but not healthy, certainly. tonight will have salad and sushi to make amends for weird lunch of aforementioned peeps, salami with cream cheese, small ceasar salad and ham and cheese sandwich. my god, i eat a LOT sometimes. add that to a bag of fruit snacks (doubt any fruit contained therein), a diet coke, a vitamin water, two cups of coffee, two eggs, toast and spray butter, and you've got the recipe for my inordinately large ass. yikes.
6) laundry! how am i supposed to fill lovely basket for hand towels in bathroom with dirty handtowels? wish dryer worked and did not have to dry towels four times. better get shakin.
7) julie's postcard. poor thing. i have neglected my be-fri's summer mailing. i am worst kind of friend.
8) sleep. must do that. without aid of trazadone or vicodin.
you see how the gym committment seems to be the least important thing on this very large list for 6 more hours in the day. dear.
Monday, April 9, 2007
misery loves company
but get the fuck away from me.
i'm feeling so blue today. i know it's likely just a combination of returning from P-town, lack of sleep, PMS and a very heavy workload. but it feels closer to depression. oh screw it it really feels closer to despair. seriously, i am on tenterhooks here, clinging to the last of my supposed good nature. i had to play alex trebek for a work thing today and i felt like i was going to snap. i just couldn't handle everybody. i couldn't handle anything I don't think. it was awful. and i really felt like some people appreciated seeing me knocked down a few pegs. normally i don't think this way, but, like i said, i'm feeling overwhelmed and exhausted and ready to bite. i thought hammering this out would make me realize how silly i'm being but no, now i feel like sobbing for two hours and snuggling under the covers for the next few days. i'm going to go to the gym after my physical therapy appointment and see if working out might help take the edge off here. but i'm thinking it's gonna not help so much. maybe tonight i won't do any work, i'll just try to be a normal human, i'll come home from the gym and then eat some dinner, take a bath and go to bed before 10. maybe that will help. maybe then i'll wake up in the morning and not be sad, or apologizing to jason about being such a bitch. maybe my neck won't hurt so much. maybe i'll stop fucking whining in this blog.
goddamn PMS.
i'm feeling so blue today. i know it's likely just a combination of returning from P-town, lack of sleep, PMS and a very heavy workload. but it feels closer to depression. oh screw it it really feels closer to despair. seriously, i am on tenterhooks here, clinging to the last of my supposed good nature. i had to play alex trebek for a work thing today and i felt like i was going to snap. i just couldn't handle everybody. i couldn't handle anything I don't think. it was awful. and i really felt like some people appreciated seeing me knocked down a few pegs. normally i don't think this way, but, like i said, i'm feeling overwhelmed and exhausted and ready to bite. i thought hammering this out would make me realize how silly i'm being but no, now i feel like sobbing for two hours and snuggling under the covers for the next few days. i'm going to go to the gym after my physical therapy appointment and see if working out might help take the edge off here. but i'm thinking it's gonna not help so much. maybe tonight i won't do any work, i'll just try to be a normal human, i'll come home from the gym and then eat some dinner, take a bath and go to bed before 10. maybe that will help. maybe then i'll wake up in the morning and not be sad, or apologizing to jason about being such a bitch. maybe my neck won't hurt so much. maybe i'll stop fucking whining in this blog.
goddamn PMS.
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
why can we not be sober?
so i blew it. a friend i hadn't seen in nine months came into town. i made it through one round of soda before chipping in on a bottle of wine at dinner.
SIGH.
It's weird, right after I decided to do this experiment, of my own accord, out came Glamour with an article on avoiding alcohol for six week equals losing up to ten pounds! Without changing diet at all. Lookit me, I could work at Glamour!!!
Anyways, I decided to try again in April. I haven't had so much as a sip of beer for ... five days.
but dilemma arises. my husband just scored box seats at Friday's white sox game, with paid entry into the new stadium club. oh man. what's a girl who likes her wine to do?
SIGH.
It's weird, right after I decided to do this experiment, of my own accord, out came Glamour with an article on avoiding alcohol for six week equals losing up to ten pounds! Without changing diet at all. Lookit me, I could work at Glamour!!!
Anyways, I decided to try again in April. I haven't had so much as a sip of beer for ... five days.
but dilemma arises. my husband just scored box seats at Friday's white sox game, with paid entry into the new stadium club. oh man. what's a girl who likes her wine to do?
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